How to Keep Writing

typewriter is on top of a blue table

How to Keep Writing

 This blog post is a response to so many friends I have that are struggling right now to maintain their creative endeavors. They are despondent and feel theres no point in continuing to write. They believe it doesnt matter at the end of the day.  

These feelings and beliefs are due to a convergence of many events. For many the rise of AI generated novels combined with the appalling piracy of Meta, who books off the Internet and used a known pirate site to train its AI this has made writers feel superfluous This thievery was done without any authors consent and without any renumeration.

To be clear this is theft on a grand scale. The theft of all your work in such a way, and that while Meta knew exactly what they were doing, many writers would not have known without the ongoing lawsuit. It is beyond disturbing. If someone steals your money, you usually know about it. Stealing an authors work that they hoping to get paid for is the same as taking a dollar bill right out of their pocket. Who knows how much revenue was lost by writers whose work was pilfered?

While there are those people who believe all art should be free to be enjoyed by everyone, I would submit if those people do a job they get paid for, that takes them away from their family and requires them to have certain skills they expect to be paid for their labor. Artist, writers, painters, composers, musicians, and every other creator you can name has the same expectations. We deserve to be paid for our time, skills, and work. And it is work to create. If anyone could do it they would. Many writers have quit and others are on the edge of quitting.

To all of you who are feeling that way, please hear me: Dont do it. Dont give in. Dont quit. Dont give up on your writing dreams.  If you want to take a rest, if you need to take a break, if you need to step back a moment and figure out why it was you started this whole thing in the first place, do that.  I often have to take a step back and ask myself: why did I start writing books?

The short answer is I started writing books because I wanted to put out stories in the world that featured people who were not usually featured in most books. I wanted to have people to be able to read books with happy endings because for those of us under the rainbow. We still don’t often we dont get happy endings and many forms of art and entertainment. The kill your gays is a real trope.  Ive mentioned this before and if you have been reading this blog a while its not the first time youve heard it.

            For those of you out there thinking of quitting please dont. Take a break. Get some rest. Think about your why and for all that is good step back from social media. Most everywhere you are on social media everyone is screaming the sky is falling for indie authors and small presses. While Ill admit the sky is looking a little dicey and everyones revenues are for the most part down, it is the result of many forces. While it is good to be informed, it is not healthy to obsess over it. To protect your creative self, limit your social media.

I log out of social almost every weekend from Friday evening until Monday morning.   Sometimes I sign off for two weeks. It depends on how much of a break I need. The point is  include breaks from social media in your self-care. Its okay to disconnect from the world. Its healing to get back in touch with yourself and to interact with your friends and family. Do things in real life.  Read a hard copy book. Play a game. Puzzle. Cook. Walk outside. Get out of everyone else’s  life and into your own.

It is so easy to get caught up in all the drama on social media. No one needs more drama. Take a break, get your feet back on the ground, touch some grass as the young folks say.

I get that it is very difficult to keep making art if youre not getting paid for it. I get it. I get it on so many levels. I also understand that if you stop writing/creating/ making art, you dont have anything to sell and nothing to get paid for, so itis a real issue. If you are finished, really ready to stop creating, after thoughtful consideration, then that’s okay. We all have different roads we follow at different times and sometimes you are only on a path for a season.

It’s okay to quit if thats what you really want to on a soul deep level. Quit. But if youre responding out of fear, if youre responding out of despair, if you are giving up because it all feels like its just too much. Don’t quit. Take a break but dont quit. The world needs your stories even if you dont think they do they do. If no one else tells you your work is valuable, I am telling you your writing matters. Don’t let the world and its ugliness silence you. Rest when you need to and then get back to work. Writing is the safest place to work out your feelings about most things, the page will never judge you for continuing to write with the world on fire, even if others do because they don’t understand, that writing/creating/ making art is resistance.

If you want to hear more advice on this topic,  I have included a link for my podcast “How to Keep Writing When You Want to Burn It All Down that is companion piece to this blog post. I would love it if you would give it a listen. It will address creative frustration, and how to keep working when youre just sick of whatever it is that youre working on and/or there has been a major life event that makes you want to just set everything on fire and walk away.  

I go into more depth offering more ways to help yourself, but the second thing that I recommend in this post and in that podcast is to get in touch with your why. Take time examine why you started writing. Explore your reasons and put your reasons in context with your current circumstances. I wrote all of my life but seriously started pursuing publication in 2012. My why has for the most part stayed the same but my life has changed considerably. If you have been writing for a while remind yourself why you started and why you want to continue.

 Remember why you started creating, memorize it, etch it into your soul, and then get back to work. That might sound harsh, but I believe working your way through a creative crisis is the only way out of creative crisis.

Wishing you all the best with your writing craft and everything else thats going on in your life and Ill talk to you again next month, Until then happy writing.

When the Words Won’t Come: Writer’s Block and the Distraction Connection

There is a strong link between writer’s block and distraction. Often when we feel like the words won’t come we have plenty of ideas away from our desks but the second we sit down to write we just can’t get them out of our brain. When our stubborn brains refuse to generate anything new or even edit something have already written often it is because we have deep distractions and intrusive thoughts that combine to strangle our creativity. The source of these distractions vary but this post is going to discuss the big three: worry, fear, and boredom.

Worry

Sources of worry are multifold. It could be a time in your life where you have a million real life things, important things, you are responsible for, so playing with your imaginary friends really is not top of mind. We can also be distracted because we are at an uncomfortable part of our story.  When we are working through very difficult parts of our novel maybe were touching on things that are sensitive in our lives, we worry about how our words will be received.

Preemptive worrying is worry on steroids. Our words remain locked in our minds because of worry. This is perhaps the hardest part of writer’s block. One solution is to remind yourself that you are writing a draft and you are not required to show the draft to anyone.

If the block is related to a particular scene, try breaking that scene out, write it as a separate document, or writing it out by hand, or dictating it can free you to write whatever you want, without worry that someone will see your work before you are ready to show it to them. Caution: When you do show your work in draft form, be careful who you show it to when you do. Not everyone has your best interest in mind. Choose your beta readers wisely. You want folks that are honest but not folks who use that an excuse to be unkind.

FEAR

Fear is worry’s bigger sibling. Fear is the heart of writer’s block. Fear our work sucks. Fear we have nothing to say. Fear we are going to look foolish. Fear we are wasting our time and are shirking our responsibilities.

Leaving aside the fears linked to Imposter Syndrome (our work sucks, nothing to say, looking foolish) we are going to focus on the fear we are being irresponsible when we spend time writing.

Everyone has responsibilities, what is particularly difficult for folks with Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorders (ADD/ADHD) and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is managing them because we struggle with Executive Function skills. If your Executive Functions are intact you have the ability to plan, manage, organize, and control your actions in order to accomplish tasks, and complete goals. Executive Function skills include time management, organization, accessible working memory, and self-monitoring.

The worst part for those of us who struggle with Executive Function is we know we when we fail and why.  We know we are struggling. We often have shame about how hard it is for us to do things that other people accomplish without issues.

Our fear of missing/forgetting/disappointing others because we did not do something we must/ should /could /promised to do stops us cold. And because we struggle with working memory, we freeze in place because of the nagging fear we should be doing something else besides writing. Driven by that feeling of dread, we close our document, or spend precious writing time staring at the page as our brain shuts down, refusing to generate anything because of fear.

The most helpful solution I have found for dealing with this fear is having a notebook where I write down everything, every task that needs to be done, every deadline, every thought about things to learn, or check out, thing that I want to learn, try, do, see, purchase, or quit. The most common term for this is a Brain Dump.

 I spent some time researching the term Brain Dump, but I was not able to find the original source of this idea. The idea is to dump out your thoughts like you would empty a file drawer.  In a document or notebook, record everything in your mind without judgement.  Write down all those undone tasks/projects/want-to-dos taking up space in your thoughts.

Write down every single thing. Do Not Rush. Or Judge. After the list is written you can go back through and evaluate if you really need to, or want to do things on your list.  Seriously, please do not rush making this list, the mental health benefits that come from freeing yourself from trying to remember all the things is enormous.

The first time you do this list it will be massive and overwhelming. Set it aside for a bit, get a beverage of your choice and read back over it. Add deadlines to those things that have them (like taxes, purchasing birthday gifts, etc.) Decluttering your brain will help you attain clarity about what actually is important and what needs to be done.  Now add dates next to those things that don’t have a firm deadline but you want to do (learn a language, declutter the junk drawer, etc.).

What does any this have to do with writing? Now that you have a list you can assign those thing specific dates, so when you sit down to write you have freedom from those fears. If that voice pops up insisting you stop because you should be doing something else, you can remind yourself you have it scheduled.  You don’t have to surrender to the fear of not doing the right thing at the right time. This list also helps with sorting out what things really are important, because our lives change, and things that may seem important in the moment are not six months later.

Warning: You will need to rewrite your list.  I suggest rewriting it every twelve weeks or so, as that is a manageable period of time. If you wait longer the fear of forgetting will creep back into your life. This is one of the simplest and most powerful solutions for self-management.

Boredom

Boredom is kryptonite for folks with ADD/ADHD. We like new and challenging. Often when we are blocked it is because our brains are bored with our storyline, or we are in the soggy middle of the novel. Most people like new and exciting things, whether or not you struggle with ADHD/ADD. For many writers when we get to the hard part of the story, every other story in our brains start waving their hankies seductively, asking you to come and write them. It is hard to resist them because it’s a lot more fun to start writing something new then it is to slug through getting to “the end” on a story that you are working on.

These intrusive thoughts, because that is what they are, sudden involuntary thoughts, are the hard to deal with, if you also are coping with other mental health issues your intrusive thoughts may not be related to writing, and can be even more distressing.

 Intrusive thoughts can derail that best of plans. Even when folks with ADD/ADHD are not bored, intrusive thoughts occur. When we are bored, they come fast and heavy. It is one of the reasons I write shorter novels and short stories. My ability to focus is what it is. If I become bored writing a story, because I know how it ends, it is a struggle finishing it. This is one of the reasons I am a discovery writer and shudder at the thought of detailed outlines.

By the time I get to proof edits of a novel, I want to set the entire manuscript on fire because I’m so tired of working with it. It’s not because I don’t like the story. It is because of intrusive thoughts that make focusing on editing difficult.

As we touched in other blog posts, the only way to finish a project is to keep working on the same writing project. You have to finish your draft. It is the only way to get it off your desk and to your beta reader or your editor, or you publisher. You can’t get anywhere with your writing career unless you actually finish the book, the article, the blog post, whatever it is you’re trying to write.

One solution I have found for coping with intrusive thoughts is to capture them. Unless I get them out of my head, I can’t get back to work on the project at hand.  Sometimes the thoughts are so loud, and so insistent, demanding to be written, they are overwhelming. The only way to move on is to acknowledge them.

Allow yourself to stop briefly write down the kernel of the idea. Have a notebook or document specifically for new ideas and thoughts. Use caution here because opening a document can lead to abandoning what you were working on to work on the new shiny thing.

If you don’t find a self-limiting way to record the plot bunnies/ideas/thoughts, like a notebook or 3×5 cards,  unless you have a lot of self-control, you will most likely end up with a bunch of half-finished stories sitting around on your hard drive. Don’t do this to yourself.

I hope you find some of these ideas helpful. Nothing is harder for creatives than being blocked. If you are struggling with writer’s block, please try some or all of these tools. Please don’t give up, the world needs your stories.

That’s it for me. I’ll be back next month with a new post on Imposter Syndrome. Until then happy writing!

Back to Blogging and New Opportunities

typewriter is on top of a blue tableIt’s been a while since I’ve written for the blog, but I am dusting it off for several reasons. When I started the blog in 2014, I was anxious for a creative outlet. My early posts focused on book reviews, life with ADHD, parenting, and my experiments with different ways to organize myself as I worked toward submitting my work for publication.

After seven years work, I am an award winning author, with eighteen published books (soon to be nineteen). I am a hybrid author working with a traditional small press and indie publishing my shorter works.

So what does that mean for this blog? My new vision for the blog is one where I share writing tips, tools, software, and methods of work along with reviews of writing craft books. As before, you’ll never see pop-up ads or ads at all on the blog. You will see affiliate links from time to time when there are products that I use and think would help you. Affiliate links provide a small commission to me if folks purchase the item using my link. It doesn’t add to your costs, but it helps pay for web fees and keep the lights on for the blog.

When I started seriously working on developing my writing craft, I devoured writing blogs and craft books. I was always looking for ways to work with my brain, with my specific thought processes, and for help with my distraction issues. I found many blogs and books with great suggestions.  Some worked for me, and some didn’t. I’m still working on developing my craft and spend time each week reading craft books and putting into practice ideas and methods to hone my craft. No one ever achieves mastery in the writing craft, but you can always strive to improve your writing.
And that is key about future posts. If I present something on the blog as a method of work it has worked for me, or for folks I know, and your mileage may vary. So for better or worse, from now on, this blog will be focused on writing and working as a writer with distraction issues.

So no matter where you are in your writing journey, come along for the ride by subscribing to my new newsletter, also titled Writing While Distracted. In addition to exclusive newsletter content a few times a month, each time I publish the blog, it will arrive in your inbox. You won’t miss a post. This is a separate newsletter from my author newsletter so don’t worry about redundant content.

 Here is the link to sign up for the Writing While Distracted newsletter and your opportunity to receive my workbook on beating writer’s block. Sign up now because I have so many things I want to share with you all. Click below to sign up and access your free download. 

https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/p9n3t3

See you soon!

The Point

 

On the Square, the first book in the University Square series will release August 17th. And because I deal with anxiety over new releases by working, I started writing a new novel this week, the third in my University Square series. We also started homeschooling this week. And did I mention I started working on stripping the wallpaper in my daughter’s room so I can paint it? Because that’s how I roll.
The blessing and curse of ADHD is  I’m not able to sit still for long. Unless its something I hyperfocused on, then you could blow the house up around me, and I wouldn’t notice.
What is my point? Finding a balance is impossible for me. I am either working at top speed or sleeping. It makes me productive but also frustrated with myself at times. My busy-bee brain refuses to be still.

I’ve learned to work with it instead of fighting it, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be able to sit and watch the flowers grow. The last few months have been some of the most difficult in my life. I’ve spent much of my time distracting myself with books and movies. I’ve also filled several pages of my planning notebook with ideas for stories I want to write someday.
With the state of the world right now, it sometimes feels pointless plan anything, much less to spend time in make-believe worlds with my imaginary friends. But then a reader will message me asking when my next book will be published, and I remember the point after all.
I write to provide a bit of respite from the world and distract readers from real life, and that is reason enough to keep writing.

Brenda Murphy writes short fiction and novels. Her novel Double Six won the 2020 GCLS Goldie for Erotica. She loves tattoos and sideshows and yes, those are her monkeys.  When she is not loitering on her front porch and writing, she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot.  She blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted.  Sign Up for her email list and receive a free erotic short story at   www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Amazon 

NineStar Press

Double Six

Complex Dimensions

Knotted Legacy

Both Ends of the Whip

ONE  

Sum of the Whole 

Dominique and Other Stories 

Make it Your Own

 

Tomorrow the kids are back a school and my work life is back on schedule. I moved my office over the summer and I had worked in it only a tiny bit because it just didn’t feel like my office. I couldn’t figure it out. I was restless, and edgy and not productive preferring to sit on the couch or in a coffee shop to work.

Why? My usual reason for discomfort is that change is hard for me, as it is for many folks with ADHD/ADD. Patterns and routines are what keep us moving forward, as much as we might rebel against them sometimes.

Last night as I not sleeping, because I struggle with sleep issues, I was thinking about my production schedule for the week. It occurred to me as I visualized sitting at my desk the arrangement was totally opposite from former office. Many folks would not care if their desk was on the east wall of their office or the west wall, or if the office door was to their left or right, or if they would have their back to the door while working, but it made a difference to me.

The impulse to fix my problem was so strong, only the fear of waking up the rest of my family and then trying to explain to them why three o’clock in the morning seemed like a good time to move furniture stopped me. Today with the help of my very industrious twins we completely rearranged my office in half the time it would have taken me to do it alone.

I haven’t always been this aware of my feelings of discomfort. For years when things were off, I would just ignore them or push through or abandon doing things because of my unidentified negative feelings. Because my kids both struggle with identifying their feelings and being able to articulate what is bothering them, I ask them, especially when they are acting out, or overly upset, “what is wrong?” and “how can you fix it or make it better?” I want them to know they don’t have to settle or deny their discomfort, and that their feelings are valid. Even if other people don’t understand. Especially if other people don’t understand.

Notice I don’t ask “how can I fix it?” I want them to understand what it took me years to figure out. If something is wrong or doesn’t feel right to you, stop and think, take time to check in with yourself. Fix it yourself if you can, and ask for help if you can’t or it’s overwhelming to do it alone. Such a simple lesson and yet so powerful.

Before I had the privilege of having my own office with a door  I worked while sitting on the corner of the couch, or at my dining room table. In both places, I did little things that made it mine, and comfortable,  even if it was only during the time I used them.

Are there things in your life that are making you uncomfortable or are the source of negative feelings?  Have you abandoned your writing or creative space because it didn’t feel right or you were unable to be productive? Or have you never been able to settle into a creative space? Take a moment to check in with yourself, and then take the time to make your space your own, even if it’s a corner of a room or a place at the kitchen table do what you need to do to be productive and create. Now go make/write/do something amazing.

Brenda Murphy writes erotic romance. Her novel, Knotted Legacy, made the 2018 The Lesbian Review’s Top 100 Vacation Reads list. She loves sideshows and tattoos and yes, those are her monkeys. When she is not loitering at her local library she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot. She reviews books, blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted. You can find her on Facebook by clicking here.  Sign Up for her email list here  www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Amazon 

NineStar Press

Knotted Legacy

Both Ends of the Whip

ONE  

Sum of the Whole 

Dominique and Other Stories 

Back to Work

It’s the beginning of a new school year at our house — a time of new lunch boxes and backpacks and school supplies. My kids love school, and as much as I love our lazy summer days, I crave the structure that the school calendar brings to our lives. I have taken most of the summer off to reset and recharge, including an almost two weeks long social/screen sabbatical. During part of that, I took my kids’ camping for the first time, and it went well. The best part was the campground had no cell or internet connection, true freedom from 24/7 overload, and a fantastic digital detox. I am energized and well-rested and finally out of the blender.

What is the blender? It’s those times in your life when, just as you are getting settled, starting to get used to the new normal, something else occurs which requires you to change your plans, to find a new way to accomplish the five million and two things on your to-do list. And for those of us who struggle with our ADHD on a good day, and schedule disruption can send us right off the rails and destroy our ability to focus. The unstructured time of summer is both marvelous on one hand because I do like spending time with my kids, but I also struggle because I crave alone time to create. I coped this summer by using my bits of time to research and outline three projects.

Are things going to settle down now? Nope. There will be all the craziness that fall brings. But my kids will be busy at school, and I will have uninterrupted time for writing, or as I like to think of it, playing with my imaginary friends on paper. Now that my kids can read, and read very well, it is hard for me to work with them around and I can’t sneak in the time I used to when they were younger. The fall and winter are my most productive time, and last year, I managed to write two novels and a novella between September and March. I cheat a bit by doing NaNoWriMo every year, and that pushes me to complete a novel in a month.

This year my goal is to complete all three of the books I outlined by May of next year. Can I do it? I don’t know, but I’m sure as hell going to give it a good go, and having the framework in place makes me feel like I can. Not writing over the summer was super hard. Writing is essential for my mental health. Blogging, one of my favorite things to do, and the one thing I try to keep with, no matter what, has been hit or miss the last few months and that has made it much more difficult for me stay on an even keel. Writing, art journaling, and telling stories are my touchstones. The past four months have made that clear to me that no matter what I need to provide time for myself to create. Going forward, I’m getting back to work, knowing that when everything is wacky, and I’m in the blender, the one thing I can do to anchor myself, is writing. My advice, if you are a creator and you’re struggling, set aside a few minutes to create. Even fifteen minutes of writing/drawing/painting or whatever is your creative outlet, can make a difference, make time and create.  

Brenda Murphy writes short fiction and novels. She loves tattoos and sideshows and yes, those are her monkeys.  When she is not loitering at her local tea shop and writing, she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot.  She reviews books, blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted. You can find her on Facebook by clicking hereSign Up for her email list here  www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Amazon 

NineStar Press

Knotted Legacy

Both Ends of the Whip

ONE  

Sum of the Whole 

Dominique and Other Stories 

 

Harder Than It Looks

Welp, I’m not quite half-way through the thirty days of Catherine Price’s How to Break Up with Your Phone. If you missed the first post in this series, you can read it here.
I’ve been journaling my progress, and it was so hard the first week, I almost quit. I have not struggled so much since I had an ulcer and had to give up caffeine, chocolate, and alcohol AT THE SAME TIME. This past week I was all the things many addicts are when they quit: angry, frustrated, short-tempered, restless, and convinced that what I was doing was stupid and wouldn’t make a difference in my life.
Whenever I considered giving up, I took a break, and reread my reasons for doing the program, and that would give me the determination to continue, like most people I can do most anything if I have an important Why.
What I have discovered about myself so far:
1. I crave connections and adrenaline. I resigned from my job in healthcare in August. I have not replaced the kind of relationships I had with co-workers and patients, nor is there anything in my home that will ever replace the rush of working in the hospital. I need to work on this and make new connections. 
2. I increased my consumption of sugar and caffeine to replace the hits of dopamine that I got from social media with sugar and caffeine (note to self, work on this issue next.)
3. My addiction was worse than I thought.
4. The day I deleted social media apps off my phone was the most challenging part of the program, but the most freeing. To be clear, in Price’s program you are allowed to check and interact with social media, but you have to sign in using your browser. The browser experience is so clunky it gave me time to think before I logged in acting as a speed bump to mindless social media time. 
5. The things that have improved: my sleep, my focus, and my relationships. I’m more present and less distracted. My kids know that when I’m with them, I’m really with them, not just killing time until I check my phone.
6. Undertaking this program and changing my relationship with my phone is a change is one that I needed to make.

As hard as this has been so far, I’m happy that I chose this as my project for February. This week was better than last week. I’m not as restless and am doing things I used to do before I became so hooked on my phone.  I’m looking forward to finishing the program. I’ll post my final thoughts and some tips for completing the challenge in March. If you are wondering if you spend too much time on your phone you probably do, don’t be afraid to make a change. So far it has been worth every second of discomfort.

Brenda Murphy writes short fiction and novels. She loves tattoos and sideshows and yes, those are her monkeys.  When she is not loitering at her local tea shop and writing, she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot.  She reviews books, blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted. You can find her on Facebook by clicking here.  Sign Up for her email list here  www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Amazon 

NineStar Press

Knotted Legacy

Both Ends of the Whip

ONE  

Sum of the Whole 

Dominique and Other Stories 

Making Space

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It has been a busy Summer for me with family, travel, edits for a short story collection to be published in September, research for more stories, book reviews, correspondence, lining up interviews for my blog, recipe testing, blog photography, you get the idea.

When people ask how do I get so much done, I always say that I am blessed with the H (hyperactivity) in the ADHD diagnosis and that it is my super power. I find it difficult to sit still. I have to move, to do, to be active. It is not always a blessing. I can be exhausting to be around. I take on too much at times. I have to regroup and rethink when facing deadlines. I have to make space and pare down by make room for all the things that are important.

It is not uncommon for folks with ADD/ADHD to find themselves swamped with projects, overwhelmed and frustrated. Right now I’m working on my plans for my blogs and my writing projects for the year, and it occurred to me that the real answer to getting things done is not just the blessing of being a high energy person, it is also the ability to discern what to let go of and what to hold on to. I like to garden and a big part of gardening is weeding. Weeding to make space for what you want to grow. I had to let of blogging for a bit to focus on other writing projects. I’ve had to let go of my gardening projects to make time for my family. I’ve had to let go of social media a bit to have time for me.

It doesn’t mean that I won’t go back to these things, but it does mean that the process of picking and choosing what to spend time on is key in accomplishing anything. The one question to ask when deciding how to cut back in order focus on a specific project or goal is: “What can I let go of to make room for what I want to happen?”

Let go of things that are crowding out the things you want to grow.

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Preflight Checklists_ Not Just for Pilots

BLM_1688Checklists are very simple time management, and organizational tools. Pilots have used preflight checklists for years, as a means to ensure that everything that needs to be done before take off is complete. Most medical facilities have incorporated checklists for safety in operating rooms, prior to procedures. As a mom with ADHD, getting my kids and myself out the door for school and work in the morning can feel overwhelming. I wrote about this last year in this POST. In that post I talked about creating morning checklists for yourself to help organize your mornings. Checklists are an easy way for adults and children to overcome the difficulties with organization and distraction that individuals with ADD/ADHD battle every day.This year the kids want to manage their own checklists. As they are just starting to read, I added visual clues to the checklists to help them and laminated them so that they can use dry erase makers and reuse them. Our mornings are not effortlessly organized, but they are a heck of a lot better than they are without the checklists. Checklists can help both adults and children feel more in control, and relieve the anxiety that can accompany ADD/ADHD that occurs from the chronic worry that we are forgetting something important. “But what if I lose the checklist?” I hear you saying, and prior to finding an application for my phone, my checklists were on scrap paper, and I would loose or misplace them and create more stress for myself as I ransacked my house or desk trying to find them. Trello (HTTPS://TRELLO.COM) is an application makes it easy to create note cards and checklists.  The best part is that it is free, and no, they do not pay me to recommend this app. Unless you are using it for your business the free version is powerful enough to use for most people.  Checking a list electronically lacks the joy that comes from scratching through a paper checklist but the benefit of not loosing my checklists has me hooked.Analog or virtual, checklists can be powerful weapons against forgotten items and tasks, try them and see if they make a difference in your life.

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ADHD and Exercise: Ten Steps to Finding What Works for You

Exercise. A word that can stir up the worst case of “shoulds”.  Because we know we should, because we want to be healthy, because we want to loose weight, because we feel like it is something we should do for what ever reason, and that is the problem. We listen to other people’s reasons and we don’t know what our reasons are. I place exercise in the same category as saving money and eating a reasonable diet. A causal browse of a book store or the Internet will net you tons of advice about what to eat, how to save money and exercise, so much so that in all the noise we forget to listen to the one voice that matters: our own.

Finding a form of exercise that we enjoy, that remains challenging, and that we can do consistently is of vital importance for individuals that have ADHD. We have to move. We are the pacers, the doodlers, the kids that spin, climb, and try just about anything that is physically challenging and jacks up our adrenalin and endorphins. Run a marathon? Fifty mile bike ride? Climb a mountain? We are into it. We are also the people that will just stop an exercise program when we get bored and because most people with ADD/ADHD have the attention span of a goldfish on cocaine, this it happens frequently.

People with ADHD also struggle with their minds wandering, coping with thousands of thoughts rushing through our minds every day. Exercise is a way to wear your body out in order to quiet your mind.  I wrote a post about focus and risk here , about how martial arts training helped with my focus.  The part I left out is how much easier it is to calm your mind when your body is tired.
Meditation is terrific for most people, but for people with ADD/ADHD it feels impossible. Finding a form of exercise that exhausts your body will make it easier to quiet your mind.

Here are ten steps to finding a form of exercise that works for you.Take your time and go through the list. It may seem like a lot of steps, but answering the questions will help you choose wisely, and find a form of exercise that works for you and fits into your life.

1. Make a list of physical actions you like to do, such as dancing, swimming, walking, running, team sports, biking, lifting weights, jogging, hiking, or climbing. Choose two that you like to do the most and mark them in someway.

2. Where do you like to spend your time? Outside or indoors? If you live some place where your ability to be outside will be limited by the weather, keep this in mind.

3. Do you like to exercise alone or with others?

4. Are you competitive? Do you like to play against other people?

5. Do you have any injuries or physical limitations? Many exercise programs can be adapted to accommodate physical limitations, so do not let this limit your thinking, just write it down.

6.  Look at your list from question one. Investigate the options for pursing what you like to do. Make a list of all the options available. List the costs (outfits, equipment, shoes, etc.) for your top two choices from question one.

7. How much do you want/have to invest in your exercise program? Having a budget will help avoid impulse spending and signing up for gym memberships that go unused. Only join a gym if you already know exactly what you are going to do at the gym and when you are going to do it.

8. Really look at your schedule. Make a list of times that you could exercise, taking into consideration your energy flow and reality. If you are not a morning person, do not think that getting up at five in the morning to exercise will really happen, be realistic and do not set yourself up to fail. If you don’t have a planner, or are struggling with time management check out my post here.

9. If it has been over a year since you have been to see your health care provider, go and get a check up. This is really important for people over fifty. Please read the Mayo Clinic’s advice for when you need to have a check-up before you start an exercise program here .

10. Do it. Just start. It can be really hard to find a way to start but the rewards are worth it. Do not compare  yourself with anyone else, do the best you can and be kind to yourself.

Use these questions to find what works for you, if your first attempts do not work, check out your options and expect that at times of major life changes (babies, small children, caring for older parents), or if you have an illness or injury you will get off track or may have to find another way to exercise.  When that happens go through the list again, take as much time as you need, to find what works for you.