Category Archives: Brenda Murphy author

Imposter Syndrome: Five Ways to Fight Back

Posted on by

 

 I missed posting last month because July totally got away with me got away from me. Between attending the Golden Crown Literary Society conference, traveling a dear friend’s combination birthday and anniversary party, and visiting my mom, my writing time was limited. I used what time was available to work on my next novel.

Back in June, I promised an article on Imposter Syndrome, a condition that according to some statics affects 70% of the population at one time or another. Imposter Syndrome is that feeling/worry/anxiety that you don’t deserve/belong/ folks will find out you’re a fraud. Imposter Syndrome is insidious and can happen at any time. It can occur in your personal life, your professional life, and your creative life. This post offers five ways to deal with Imposter Syndrome in your creative life. Imposter Syndrome can occur with or without a triggering event.

Has this happened to you? You’re working on your manuscript, are excited to sit down to write, and you open the document. As soon the blank screen pops up, the ugly voice of Imposter Syndrome whispers that you should just quit now. It tells you that you don’t know enough to be. a writer. Your work is banal, boring, stupid worthless. No one cares what you have to say. These phrases or some version of them swirl around in your mind, throttling your creativity.  When Imposter Syndrome grabs you it pokes you in your most sensitive places.

Imposter syndrome will do its best to convince you that you are a terrible writer. It will insist you have no business writing. It will whisper in your ear that you have nothing to say, you’re a fraud, you’re not real. It thrives on shame, and fear. Imposter Syndrome, if left unchecked will convince you that you are not in any way, shape, or form a writer, and you should just save yourself the embarrassment and just quit.

Imposter Syndrome can be devasting to your creative career. It is the root cause of many cases of writer’s block. What can you do to stop that terrible nasty little voice?  Here are five things you can you do when feel uncertain, like you don’t belong, or that you shouldn’t have a seat at the table, that you’re in the wrong place, or that someone else is going to find out that you’re a fraud.

Five Ways to Fight Imposter Syndrome.

  1. Remember who you are. Make a list of things you have accomplished, don’t leave anything out. All those little and big things count, add to the list all the things you can do. Can you swim? Ride a bike? Cook a decent meal? Hang a picture? Are you a wiz at spreadsheets? No matter how routine, acknowledging your abilities can remind you that you are capable and deserving of all the things.
  2. Talk about it. Shame and guilt are big components of Imposter Syndrome. Imposter Syndrome lies to us about our worth. It tells us we are taking up space we don’t deserve, that we shouldn’t be where we are and that we are frauds. These are lies. The best way to get past these lies is to talk to people about how you are feeling. A wise therapist once said to me. “Feelings are real but they may not be based on truth or reality.” Take time to examine your feelings and the facts of the situation. Talk with a trusted friend or counselor about Imposter Syndrome.
  3. Don’t beat yourself up. Mistakes happen. Failure is part of learning and growth. If you experience a manuscript rejection, take some time to acknowledge your effort and bravery in submitting your work. Did the editor give you some feedback? Use that to rework your manuscript. Ask a trusted friend for if they would beta read for you. Don’t listen to the voice that says quit. Most folks who are traditionally published experience many rejections before their work is accepted.
  4. Celebrate yourself. Anything can be a win. Did you finish your draft? Complete a word count goal? Hit a consecutive day writing streak? Celebrate that! Use that energy to chase away the negative vibes Imposter Syndrome uses to hold you back.
  5. Talk the talk. Use your inner dialogue to build yourself up. When the gnarly Imposter Syndrome voice starts in, have a set response to its false statements. Flip the script on that jackass.

For Example:

Imposter Syndrome says: “You’re not a writer.”

You: “I write therefore I am a writer.”

Imposter Syndrome says, “No one will ever like what you write.”

You: “I like what I write, and out of all the folks in the universe, someone else besides me will like it too.”

You get the idea. Write down all the negative things that crowd out your positive thoughts and use that to create your own script. I won’t share my personal script because my language gets a little salty when I am chasing Imposter Syndrome out of my head.

I hope that these things will help you to kick Imposter Syndrome to the curb. Try them the next time Imposter Syndrome shows up. Remember, changing our feelings and beliefs about ourselves is hard, but not impossible. Use whatever tools you can to strengthen your belief in yourself. You are a writer. If you needed to hear that from someone other than yourself, here it is: You are a writer, and the world needs for your words.

 until next time,

Brenda

 

When the Words Won’t Come: Writer’s Block and the Distraction Connection

Posted on by

There is a strong link between writer’s block and distraction. Often when we feel like the words won’t come we have plenty of ideas away from our desks but the second we sit down to write we just can’t get them out of our brain. When our stubborn brains refuse to generate anything new or even edit something have already written often it is because we have deep distractions and intrusive thoughts that combine to strangle our creativity. The source of these distractions vary but this post is going to discuss the big three: worry, fear, and boredom.

Worry

Sources of worry are multifold. It could be a time in your life where you have a million real life things, important things, you are responsible for, so playing with your imaginary friends really is not top of mind. We can also be distracted because we are at an uncomfortable part of our story.  When we are working through very difficult parts of our novel maybe were touching on things that are sensitive in our lives, we worry about how our words will be received.

Preemptive worrying is worry on steroids. Our words remain locked in our minds because of worry. This is perhaps the hardest part of writer’s block. One solution is to remind yourself that you are writing a draft and you are not required to show the draft to anyone.

If the block is related to a particular scene, try breaking that scene out, write it as a separate document, or writing it out by hand, or dictating it can free you to write whatever you want, without worry that someone will see your work before you are ready to show it to them. Caution: When you do show your work in draft form, be careful who you show it to when you do. Not everyone has your best interest in mind. Choose your beta readers wisely. You want folks that are honest but not folks who use that an excuse to be unkind.

FEAR

Fear is worry’s bigger sibling. Fear is the heart of writer’s block. Fear our work sucks. Fear we have nothing to say. Fear we are going to look foolish. Fear we are wasting our time and are shirking our responsibilities.

Leaving aside the fears linked to Imposter Syndrome (our work sucks, nothing to say, looking foolish) we are going to focus on the fear we are being irresponsible when we spend time writing.

Everyone has responsibilities, what is particularly difficult for folks with Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorders (ADD/ADHD) and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is managing them because we struggle with Executive Function skills. If your Executive Functions are intact you have the ability to plan, manage, organize, and control your actions in order to accomplish tasks, and complete goals. Executive Function skills include time management, organization, accessible working memory, and self-monitoring.

The worst part for those of us who struggle with Executive Function is we know we when we fail and why.  We know we are struggling. We often have shame about how hard it is for us to do things that other people accomplish without issues.

Our fear of missing/forgetting/disappointing others because we did not do something we must/ should /could /promised to do stops us cold. And because we struggle with working memory, we freeze in place because of the nagging fear we should be doing something else besides writing. Driven by that feeling of dread, we close our document, or spend precious writing time staring at the page as our brain shuts down, refusing to generate anything because of fear.

The most helpful solution I have found for dealing with this fear is having a notebook where I write down everything, every task that needs to be done, every deadline, every thought about things to learn, or check out, thing that I want to learn, try, do, see, purchase, or quit. The most common term for this is a Brain Dump.

 I spent some time researching the term Brain Dump, but I was not able to find the original source of this idea. The idea is to dump out your thoughts like you would empty a file drawer.  In a document or notebook, record everything in your mind without judgement.  Write down all those undone tasks/projects/want-to-dos taking up space in your thoughts.

Write down every single thing. Do Not Rush. Or Judge. After the list is written you can go back through and evaluate if you really need to, or want to do things on your list.  Seriously, please do not rush making this list, the mental health benefits that come from freeing yourself from trying to remember all the things is enormous.

The first time you do this list it will be massive and overwhelming. Set it aside for a bit, get a beverage of your choice and read back over it. Add deadlines to those things that have them (like taxes, purchasing birthday gifts, etc.) Decluttering your brain will help you attain clarity about what actually is important and what needs to be done.  Now add dates next to those things that don’t have a firm deadline but you want to do (learn a language, declutter the junk drawer, etc.).

What does any this have to do with writing? Now that you have a list you can assign those thing specific dates, so when you sit down to write you have freedom from those fears. If that voice pops up insisting you stop because you should be doing something else, you can remind yourself you have it scheduled.  You don’t have to surrender to the fear of not doing the right thing at the right time. This list also helps with sorting out what things really are important, because our lives change, and things that may seem important in the moment are not six months later.

Warning: You will need to rewrite your list.  I suggest rewriting it every twelve weeks or so, as that is a manageable period of time. If you wait longer the fear of forgetting will creep back into your life. This is one of the simplest and most powerful solutions for self-management.

Boredom

Boredom is kryptonite for folks with ADD/ADHD. We like new and challenging. Often when we are blocked it is because our brains are bored with our storyline, or we are in the soggy middle of the novel. Most people like new and exciting things, whether or not you struggle with ADHD/ADD. For many writers when we get to the hard part of the story, every other story in our brains start waving their hankies seductively, asking you to come and write them. It is hard to resist them because it’s a lot more fun to start writing something new then it is to slug through getting to “the end” on a story that you are working on.

These intrusive thoughts, because that is what they are, sudden involuntary thoughts, are the hard to deal with, if you also are coping with other mental health issues your intrusive thoughts may not be related to writing, and can be even more distressing.

 Intrusive thoughts can derail that best of plans. Even when folks with ADD/ADHD are not bored, intrusive thoughts occur. When we are bored, they come fast and heavy. It is one of the reasons I write shorter novels and short stories. My ability to focus is what it is. If I become bored writing a story, because I know how it ends, it is a struggle finishing it. This is one of the reasons I am a discovery writer and shudder at the thought of detailed outlines.

By the time I get to proof edits of a novel, I want to set the entire manuscript on fire because I’m so tired of working with it. It’s not because I don’t like the story. It is because of intrusive thoughts that make focusing on editing difficult.

As we touched in other blog posts, the only way to finish a project is to keep working on the same writing project. You have to finish your draft. It is the only way to get it off your desk and to your beta reader or your editor, or you publisher. You can’t get anywhere with your writing career unless you actually finish the book, the article, the blog post, whatever it is you’re trying to write.

One solution I have found for coping with intrusive thoughts is to capture them. Unless I get them out of my head, I can’t get back to work on the project at hand.  Sometimes the thoughts are so loud, and so insistent, demanding to be written, they are overwhelming. The only way to move on is to acknowledge them.

Allow yourself to stop briefly write down the kernel of the idea. Have a notebook or document specifically for new ideas and thoughts. Use caution here because opening a document can lead to abandoning what you were working on to work on the new shiny thing.

If you don’t find a self-limiting way to record the plot bunnies/ideas/thoughts, like a notebook or 3×5 cards,  unless you have a lot of self-control, you will most likely end up with a bunch of half-finished stories sitting around on your hard drive. Don’t do this to yourself.

I hope you find some of these ideas helpful. Nothing is harder for creatives than being blocked. If you are struggling with writer’s block, please try some or all of these tools. Please don’t give up, the world needs your stories.

That’s it for me. I’ll be back next month with a new post on Imposter Syndrome. Until then happy writing!

Getting Back to It: Tips for Restarting a Writing Project

Posted on by

How do you get back to writing after a long break? I’ve had to take a break from the blog and my current work in progress because I had two sets of edits that came in and I had to attend to those edits. It’s going to be at least another three weeks before I can get back to it. This is not the first time I’ve had to take long breaks in working on projects because of project conflicts, family events, life, events, or my own state of mind. I have developed a system for how to get back to where you were when you’ve had to put a story aside for a while.

  It’s hard to pick up the threads of your story when you are a pantser or a discovery draft writer.  The techniques work well for people who don’t work from a detailed outline because sometimes you’ll be writing along and you have taken a detour. Your characters have gone off script, and suddenly you’re not sure where your story is going and you need to get back to the initial thread. These techniques are handy for those times when brain fog is dense and you don’t even know where you are in the story or what you’re doing and you feel lost in your own manuscript.

 When you’ve wandered into the weeds one of the first things things you can do when you find yourself in that situation or when you to come back to some thing after having not written or worked on it for for weeks or months is to read through your pre-writing, and by that I mean story notes, character worksheets, notebook scribbles, etc, that you created before you started your project.
Then read through what you’ve written so far and create a reverse outline. A reverse outline is based on what you’ve written. It offers an opportunity to compare the scenes you’ve written with your initial plan.

It also serves as a reminder of what you’ve already accomplished. If you’ve just started something, and you’ve only written a chapter or two just read those couple of chapters. Some people suggest simply  reading the previous chapter or the previous couple of pages of your manuscript. This doesn’t work for me because I don’t work from detailed outline. I work from a scene list and if you also work that way a reverse outline will to show you where you’ve  gone off script.
The other thing you can do, if you feel overwhelmed, or if you don’t want to invest the time reverse outlining takes is to just start writing.  Get yourself geared up to sit down at your desk, open your document or your notebook or legal pad or  however you write and just start writing again.
Embrace the attitude that you can fix any problems in revisions. It does work, but you should plan on taking a bit more time in revisions to make sure you’ve fix any plot holes and that your story structure is sound.  

Not all writing breaks are bad, sometimes If you need to take a break from writing because you’ve written yourself into a corner or your bored with your story or you need to take a mental health break. You’ll be less stressed about not writing if you know there are ways to find your way back to the story.  Trust yourself to get back to work.
Sometimes people take breaks is because of what I call shiny new idea syndrome. Shiny new idea syndrome occurs most often when you get to the hard part of the manuscript and you’re like “oh I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know where I’m going. I’m in the soggy middle and why the f$@k did I ever start this book? I hate it.”
So you put your manuscript aside and you start working on the next shiny thing. The hard truth about this is that the next shiny thing will also get to a hard, sticky part.  My recommendation to you is if you stopped writing something because it became hard to write, is to put it aside for a while.  Take that break. Use it to refuel yourself, to fill your creative well so you can get your brain and your emotions in a place where you can work.
But for the love of all that is good do not start something new while on your break if you already have a pile of unfinished manuscripts. It’s fine to make notes or sketch some ideas down. Collect your ideas in a next shiny thing notebook if you’ve got one of those. Or a document, or whatever way your have to keep track of ideas. I keep a notebook next to my computer so I can write all those ideas down as the bubble up.

Those ideas call to me like sirens, and in order to keep myself from crashing on the rocks of unfinished works, I promise myself that I will start the new shiny thing that once I am finished my current project. 

My best advice is to if you can help it at all is to to not  quit in the middle of a project. To be clear, a pause to attend to other writing business is not the same as abandoning a project.  Another hard truth is nothing ever gets easier as you write.  In  fact, as you get towards the end of the story, trying to tie all the loose threads together and create a satisfying conclusion it is sometimes is exhausting.
Writing  is not easy. Giving people access your imaginary friends and their world, exposing your imagination can be excruciating.  More so if  you’re writing a difficult scene or a difficult topic or when you’re writing middle the of the story arc when you’re torturing your characters so they apprentice their happy ending.

All of that can be really hard to write, but don’t quit. Take a break, and when you come back to your project, try these techniques to  get back to where you were. Or just start again and that’s fine too.

A final word about why folks quit on their manuscripts. Folks quit all the time because they give up, decide writing is  not worth the struggle. And then they beat themselves up about their decision.
 I can’t tell you if it’s worth it or not for you. I know for me, at this point in time even with the advent and rise of all the AI chat programs that will write stories for you and people bragging that they wrote books with it, and all the stress that the discussion has generated, nothing  is ever going to beat a homegrown honest to goodness human creation, because no matter how well we teach the machines they will never truly be us.
Regurgitated rehashed content is not the same as original human stories.  People will tell you there are no new stories. And that may be true but no one else out there can tell a story the way that you can tell a story.  So please don’t quit for good.  Give yourself a break if you need one.  Be kind to yourself and others always.
When you go to get back to your project  either jump right back into it and worry about fixing it later, or wade in slowly with a reverse outline.  Be brave. Have confidence  you actually can finish your writing project.  I believe in you. Until next time keep writing.

Outlines, Trellises, and Discovery Drafts

Posted on by

Do you outline? I can’t think of another question that will start a conversation quicker among writers. Folks that believe they must have an outline before they write the first word find it hard to understand how some folks start writing and let the story take them where it will. And for folks just beginning to write, it can be a massive source of frustration and confusion. How to create an outline becomes just as problematic as the question of if you should bother with one. 

The truth is this: the only way to find out if an outline works for you is to try writing with and without one. 

Outlining can take many forms. My outline is nontraditional in that it is a collection of scene cards. I’m visually oriented, and my book comes to me like films in my head, so this works for me. I have friends that can’t write until they have a detailed outline and others that never outline. We all get our books written for two reasons: we never stop writing and are comfortable with our process. 

So what are discovery drafts? And what do trellises have to do with outlines?

I have lost count of the folks who say to me, “I really want to write a book, but I can’t get my outline finished/started.”

 I tell them to start writing with what ideas they have to see where the story leads them, creating a discovery draft. The first draft is a discovery draft. Even with detailed outlines many author find that after they start writing their story changes and their path to writing ‘the end’  is not as straightforward as they had planned. 

My novels often goes wildly off script as I write it. I discover things I thought would work don’t work at all, and I find other things I’d not thought of while creating my scene list. My list is enough of a trellis for my story to progress naturally. It’s not too constraining, so I don’t risk becoming bored with my story.  Nothing kicks off my ADHD like being bored.

Pro tip: If you are bored writing your story, if it feels flat to you, it will feel that way to your readers. And if you lose the thread of your novel and become confused while writing it, your readers will find it confusing as well. Having some form of an outline, trellis, or scene list in place will help you find your way back to the storyline. 

I am not against writing by the seat of your pants, also known as being a pantser. I know plenty of folks who have written some of my favorite books who have never outlined anything in their entire writing life. I am pro whatever gets your manuscript written. 

Below are some websites that offer more in-depth discussions of outlining methods. Check them out, and then, if you have never outlined, are struggling to get an outline written, or want to see what it’s like to write with more of a road map to ‘the end’, pick one of these methods and try it. You have nothing to lose and might find a stress-free way to keep yourself on track and start/finish a manuscript.

  1. Traditional Outline: A detailed list of scenes, characters, and what is going on in the background, story beats, etc., in chronological order. This link leads to an article on how to create a more extensive outline: https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-outline-your-novel
  2.  Scene list/Script: Creating a scene list using simple sentences about the action in the scene, who is there, and what is going on, for example, similar to a movie script, transferring that list to index cards and sorting them until they make sense/tell a story. This is the method I use, and this is the youtube video that inspired me to use this method. https://youtube.com/watch?v=vrvawtrRxsw&feature=shares
  3. Sticky Notes: Using sticky notes or whiteboard to sketch your story’s bones and then using that as a guide when writing your story, this is a good discussion of that method: https://youtube.com/watch?v=pGs5ksCmjEQ&feature=shares
  4. Synopsis Outline: A synopsis outline is a paragraph-style outline that tells your story. This is a good article that discusses how to do that https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-write-a-novel-synopsis-step-by-step-guide
  5. Mind Mapping: When you create a mind map, you start with your central idea or theme and then form clusters of scenes around pivotal points/story beats. This is a detailed discussion of how to do it. https://www.zenflowchart.com/guides/mind-map-in-writing

I tried four of the five methods on this list before combining the synopsis style and the scene list/script method to create a form of outlining  that fit my style and brain. If you are wondering if outlining will help you finish your manuscript, or get more books written a shorter time, use this list as a guide to different methods. Have fun with them. The very best thing about being a writer is we get to make stuff up, even our methods of work. 

 

See you next week for my next post: Feeling the Fear and Doing it Anyway

Begin at the Beginning or Not

Posted on by

 

Begin at the Beginning or Not, Part One
This is the time of year when everyone starts looking back at the year and wondering if they have accomplished their goals. For years as the year came to a close, I would struggle to remember what I had accomplished. I let myself wallow in negativity and focused on what I had not done, goals missed, and resolutions abandoned. In the end, I would be down on myself and frustrated. One way I have learned to overcome this is to look at my consistency versus my output.
Consistency means sticking to a schedule, whatever that looks like for you. It does not mean, as some author coaches insist, writing every day, writing at the same time every day, or even a specific word count, although those things can work for some folks.
My life and brain are chaotic on the best days. When working full time, after a twelve-hour shift, I would be so tired and brain-dead after work that I only wrote on weekends. When my children were small, I wrote when they were napping unless I also fell asleep, then I wrote late at night or whenever I could squeeze in the time.
If you listen to some folks who pontificate about how to be a writer, they will spew all kinds of rules and imply that there is only one way to succeed.
Here is the number one secret: there are no rules other than getting the words out of your head and onto the page, be it electronic or paper. It does not matter how you accomplish it.
So what does begin at the beginning or not, mean? It means that to start planning for your writing this next year, look back at your consistency and start there. Make your plan to get words onto the page based on achievable consistency and a measure that works for you.
I work to word counts per week, Monday through Friday, because I need to see my progress, and moving the green line in Scrivener motivates me. I don’t write on the weekends because I tried the everyday thing, which led to severe burnout.
Some writers base their work plan on minutes spent writing, for example, fifteen minutes a day, three hours every weekend, or thirty minutes during their lunch break.
The hard part of all of this is that what works for one year, half a year, or three months may not work the entire year. So taking a page from the book The Twelve Week year (https://www.amazon.com/12-Week-Year-Others-Months/dp/1118509234), make a writing plan for the next twelve weeks.
At the end of that time, evaluate how it went. Ask yourself: Did you get words on the page? Were you happy with your productivity? Did you have fun with it, or was it a chore? What could you do to make it work? Or did it work for a bit, and then something changed that didn’t work?
If it didn’t work for you, make a new plan for the next twelve weeks. It doesn’t matter if you follow a famous writer’s schedule or anyone’s advice (including mine, as your mileage may vary). Do what works.
Begin at the Beginning or Not, Part Two:
In the next twelve weeks, set yourself up to succeed. Start slow. If you had never done more than jog to the car when it was raining, you would not start running by entering a marathon. Every year writers set themselves up to fail by choosing some arbitrary number of words to write each day because a multi-published author said that is how to do it.
Unless you know you can consistently produce a specific word count in an hour, or can work continuously for several hours, do not expect that you will magically be able to do that come January 2023.
Start with baby steps because even the shortest step forward will still move you toward your objective. Writing a book is not a race, do not compare yourself to other writers, especially if it is your first or second book. Learning what works for you is part of the craft.
Your homework is to make a plan. Notice I did not say to make a resolution. Numerous studies show New Year Resolutions do not work, so skip that part.
What does work is a plan.
For example:
I will write for an hour every Saturday and Sunday afternoon.
Or,
I will write for thirty minutes every Monday through Friday.
Or,
I will write five hundred words every day
Or,
I will write five thousand words each week,Monday through Friday (this is my plan because it has worked for me for the past twelve weeks.)
These are all examples of plans. Figure out your plan. Write it down, and put it where you can see it. If you keep a bullet journal or planner, enter your planned writing sessions as a date with yourself. Do whatever you need to help yourself get where you want to go and above all do what is right/works for you.
As part of setting yourself up to succeed, check in with yourself about why it might be hard to get yourself to produce words. Are there internal blocks you are dealing with? Such as grief, distraction, imposter syndrome, fear of failure, fear of success? Don’t know what to write? Don’t know how to start?
Or are there external blocks that are interfering with your writing? Such as no desk, crappy chair, lack of privacy, physical discomfort when writing, or no pc/laptop/tablet?Kids/dogs/cats/partners or other household members not respecting your writing time?
There is a page in the Silencing the Voices Freeing the Writer Within workbook that has a page entitled “What is Stopping You” and two columns labeled Internal and External blocks. Take some time to list those and then pick one to work on to remove it from blocking your writing. If you haven’t downloaded your copy yet, you can find the workbook here: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/4b1my1xmkd
As this blog series moves forward, I will address some solutions for the above-listed blocks. This is the final post for 2022. I will return in January with the next post in the series, Outlines, Trellises, and Discovery Drafts. I wish each of you a joyous New Year, and I will see you on the flip side.