Tag Archives: ADD/ ADHD

Embrace Your Attention Issues: Terese Ramin Interview

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The bar. Again.

I met Terese Ramin at my first writers’ conference. Chicago-North RWA Spring Fling 2012 to be exact. I was loitering at the bar waiting to register. I noticed Terese’s conference badge, and struck up a conversation. She was presenting at the conference. We spent
most of the evening laughing, talking, and getting to know each other over
fries and good beer.

Terese is gracious,
encouraging, and supportive. She is also has ADD/ADHD, and is a successful novelist, and editor. She very kindly agreed to do an interview for this blog.  I have enjoyed Terese’s books.   This is the link to Terese’s Amazon page.   Her biography follows the interview.

1. When were
you diagnosed with ADD/ADHD?

 Terese: **I
was officially diagnosed with ADD in 1996 when I took my son for diagnosis at
his high school’s request. I took the test with him to be supportive.
2.
Was there a specific event that caused you to seek a diagnosis?
Terese:**My
son’s high school requested that he be tested (and put on medication).
3.
Do you think having a diagnosis helped?
Terese: **Yes,
it helped *me* realize what had always held me back / been “wrong” with me, and
why there were “bad conduct” marks on my school records. Girls didn’t have
ADD/ADHD when I was in grade school.
4.
Have you faced any discrimination because of your diagnosis?
Terese: **No.
As an adult, the only people who know about my ADD/ADHD are those I choose to
tell. And since being ADD/ADHD affects my entire life, I let people know. My
son, on the other hand, didn’t want people to know, didn’t want to take meds,
etc., because it would have labeled him in high school as “one of those kids”
who got called out of class to take a prescription medication. We worked with
his ADD/ADHD in other ways and, boy, am I glad! He’s very successful as a
teacher now.
5.
How did you organize/ focus yourself to write books?
Terese: **When
was first diagnosed, I saw a therapist who gave me suggestions to help keep me
focused – creating a CD that looped with the question “Are you on task?” played
at 5 and 10 minutes  intervals.
I
also used a CD called High Focus that essentially
plays white noise. It was highly effective, especially played softly. I also
used guided meditation and a couple of “In the Zone” CDs that are used to help
athletes maintain focus while they work out.
6.
What is the biggest challenge for you when writing a novel?
Terese: **Oh
man. <G> For writing a novel, I need to get to the place in the book
where I can go into hyper-focus. Hyper-focus is something I’m good at – as long
as I’m being stimulated by what I do, or as long as what I’m doing is a
relatively simple, repetitive task (I’m a great editor due to hyper-focus, and
I’m pretty good at detail work – as long my brain doesn’t decide the details
are boring.) Boredom is my biggest problem.
Another
thing that works is for me to be able to get up and wander around doing simple,
non-thinking tasks as I write – taking care of the laundry, loading the
dishwasher, dusting, etc. Those are things I hate to do, but when I do them
during the process of working on a novel, I don’t have to come out of the
“zone” or the story to do them. Doing
simple tasks allows me to daydream the next line, paragraph, or scene, and
return to the computer able to write a few more pages.
7.
Are you an Outliner or Pantser?
Terese: **HA!
I wish I could outline a novel or create a beat sheet, then just fill in the
blanks on the pages. The moment I start to do that, my brain screams “lunch!”
and refuses to budge – it’s that boredom thing or the restless ADHD thing
kicking in: an outline causes me to tell the story to myself, which means I’ve
already written it, which means “bored now” when it comes to trying to write
all 70-85,000 words.
To
counter this, I give myself a blurb to remind myself where I need to get to
from here, post that on the wall where I can see it, and slowly make my way
toward the end goal: a completed novel.
8.
How do you handle the distraction of the internet?
Terese: **Badly.
I have a routine of getting up in the morning, handling my email, reading the
online news, doing a little Facebook / Twitter / social media to keep my name
out there, but that means I also use up my best creative time. I might be
finished with all of those internet things by 8 a.m., but then the dogs need
attention, there are dirty dishes that need attention, the laundry needs to go
into the dryer, etc. It would be far better for me to revise that routine and
start with writing, but it takes a long time for me to create a routine that
works for me. It’s much easier to fall back on the routine I have. The bottom
line is that I’m much much more productive
if I follow a daily routine, but creating the right routine takes thought and discipline that I sometimes don’t
have.
9.
Do you think that it would have been helpful to be diagnosed at an earlier age?
Terese:**Possibly,
in today’s climate, yes. Back when I was growing up? Maybe – at least then my
parents and teachers would have understood the reason for why I was the way I
was. But being diagnosed earlier – especially back in a time when using
ADD/ADHD medication properly was still pretty new – might also have meant being
medicated, which brings up a whole new world of issues.
10.
What advice would you give writers struggling with attention issues?
Terese: **Embrace
your attention issues. I look at my son who’s always done seven or eight things
at the same time – and that worked for him. When he was in school, if he wasn’t
listening to at least one sporting event, playing the guitar (or the bassoon,
or something), reading a book, talking on the phone, trolling the internet AND
doing his homework, I knew he wasn’t getting his schoolwork done. He’s never
needed to be medicated and I’m proud of the man he’s become.
But
I also look at the way he innately handled his ADD/ADHD and I realize that my
own process of staying in the zone by doing housework while I’m writing is much
the same thing. I just need to “stay on task” get back to that routine.
 I hope that reading Terese’s interview inspires you to start writing if you haven’t and to keep going if you have stopped.
Biography:
Terese Ramin is the award winning
author of eleven novels and numerous short stories. Her autobiographical essay,
“Two-Puppy Theory”, is included in the anthology The Sound and the Furry, sales of which benefit the International
Fund for Animal Welfare. The Cured,
her most recent release with author David Wind, is her first suspense-thriller.
Her next release will be an urban paranormal romance with writing partner Dawn
Johanson.
Aside from writing, Terese works
as an editor, ghost writer, book doctor, and a paranormal investigator. She
lives in Michigan with her husband and a bunch of rescued dogs.

You talkin’ to me?! Anger Management and ADHD/ADD

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I know you’re not talkin to me…

 Anger, that red hot feeling of pure rage and adrenalin surge that obliterates any rational thought. Most people when they get angry are able, most of the time, to control their impulses and step back.  For people with ADD/ADHD the trip from slightly annoyed to explosive outburst is short. The consequences of uncontrolled outbursts range from strained family relationships to jail time.

 In my own life anger management ranks as high as impulse control on my list of things that complicate my life.  I am still learning to control my anger, and learning to respond in a reasoned and controlled way.  It helps that I am trying to model good behavior for my kids. I love their reminders to “use my words” and “inside voice, mom”. If nothing else it breaks the tension and sometimes it is all I need to get back to normal.

Writing helps too. When I am angry it helps to write it down. Writing forces me to identify just what is pissing me off so much. Writing also forces me to slow down and think. Writing has saved me from myself more times than I care to think about. Here are my tips for anger management.

1. Identify your triggers. Avoid them. This will be more difficult if your triggers are human, and related to you. In that case, try and limit your interactions. If you find yourself triggered by co-workers, supervisors, or your work place, you might want to consider finding a new job. Seriously, your mental health is worth it.

2. Understand that frustration is the most common emotion that leads to anger. Identify what frustrates you, and fix it. Angry because you can’t find your keys, and you are running late for work? Make a plan the night before, keep your keys in the same place. Do what you need to do to make your life less frustrating.

3. Eat. Pay attention to your diet. Make sure that you eat in a way that maintains an steady blood sugar. As much fun as it is to eat a box of doughnuts and wash it down with coffee, be aware that low blood sugar after the binge can precipitate angry emotions. We have all been so hungry that we were angry about everything. Eat.

4. Get enough sleep. Stop laughing. Do the best you can. It really does make a difference.

5. Write it down. Make a list of everything making you angry. Identify what you can change, avoid or let go of. Get it out of your head and on paper. Sometimes when I am done, I just rip the paper to shreds, and toss it out. Find your own ritual to let go of your anger. If your are a fiction writer use your emotions to craft scenes of ultimate destruction, and revenge.

6. Take a walk. Go for a run. Put on loud, angry music and dance. Get the physical feelings out safely. Do not use this as an opportunity to intimidate others with your behavior.

7. Get help. If you find that your outbursts are causing problems in your life, find a mental health care professional to talk to. Some employers have employee assistance programs that provide free anger management counseling, and classes. Many hospitals offer anger and stress management programs. Take advantage of free and low cost programs in your area.

Anger management is possible. It is also our responsibility. Step back, take a breath, count to ten. Do what it takes to get your anger under control. Do it for yourself. Do it for your relationships.

Writer’s block? I don’t have time for that.

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Age: One Day
This is how old my kids were when I started writing my thesis.
This is how old they were when I finished.
At the celebration lunch.

You did it Mom!

One year.  Did I mention that we moved out of state, and went on a trip that lasted a month? It was crazy hard, and sometimes I don’t know how I did it.

I do know that I created some rituals and routines to keep my words flowing. I had a deadline. I could not wait until I felt like writing, or was inspired. Writer’s block was just not an option.
I found that creating small rituals helped me focus when I did have time to write. When I talk about rituals, I am talking about little things that reminded me that I was at the keyboard for a reason. Here are some tips to help you stay on track and keep your writing project going.

1. Use every second. Work when you can. Even if it is only for thirty minutes, it will add up.

Yep, I worked every time they napped.

2. Always take five minutes at the end of your work session to make a note to yourself about what you need to write, or accomplish the next time you work. This saves time when get back to writing, and keeps the project moving forward.

3. Keep your project materials together. Searching for materials wastes time, and distracts you from writing.

4. Find a way to organize your notes and materials that works for you. Once you find a way, stick with it until the end of the project. If you are tempted to stop work to reorganize, resist. Reorganizing is a huge waste of time. If you want to try a different method, save it for the next project.

5. Write, even when you don’t feel like writing, when you want to quit, when you are sick and tired, and would rather do anything else. Keep going.

6. Ask for help when you need it. I had a babysitter once a week for six hours. I did not go to the grocery store, do laundry, sleep or any of the hundred other things that needed to be done. Guard your work time.

7. If you work with music on, create a playlist that you use for all your work sessions for your project. Music can help shift your mood, and stimulate your writing. My playlist was called “Write the MotherF*$^er”.  I still use it.

8.  Make yourself accountable to someone. If you are in school, this would be your advisor. If you are working on your own, find a critique group or writing partner.

9. Do not point a baby you just fed at your research notebook. This is a bonus tip. I was cleaning out my project files last week  and I found my thesis research notebook. It still smells faintly of baby vomit.

10. Believe. Believe in your project. Believe in your ability.

I believe in you. Get to work.

Creative Acts and Self-Care

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When I make time to write and create I feel like this 

powerful, strong, and alive. 
When I don’t take care of my creative needs I feel like this
 cranky, cantankerous, and bitter.  
Taking care of yourself by making time to do the things that you like to do is vitally important to your mental health.  If you have attention issues, and struggle with keeping up with day to day household activities, making time to write or draw, scrap book, or just sit and read a book may make us feel like we are cheating, because we are not doing the thousand and one other things we “should” do.   
The truth is it is okay, and very necessary to take of our creative needs.  Self care goes beyond exercise, eating well, and sleeping. Spending an afternoon writing, painting, drawing, or doing crafts is a way to get your brain to shift out of overdrive.  Sitting meditation is very difficult for ADHD individuals, although the benefits are fantastic, sitting still is so torturous that often we fail, and then feel bad about failing. Creative pursuits are a form of meditation. Getting lost in a project is soothing.  The problem for many people with ADD/ADHD and creative outlets is that we want to try and do everything, then we feel overwhelmed, and wind up doing nothing.  Here are five tips on how to balance creative needs and the rest of your life.
1. Schedule creative time at least once a week.
2. Limit yourself to three creative pursuits.  One that can be done indoors, one that can be done outdoors, and one to do when you are tired or need a break from the other two.
3. Set a budget! This is hard but necessary. By limiting what you can spend on your chosen creative outlet, you can cut down on the overwhelm that can occur with too many supplies.
4. Give yourself permission to be the creative person you are. If others do not understand your need/desire to spend an afternoon writing about your imaginary friends, or making scrapbooks, or painting, or making bird houses, find supportive people who do understand. 
5. Set a timer!  It is so easy to hyper-focus and lose track of time, a timer will keep you on schedule. I set a timer when I write so that I don’t forget to pick up my kids from school.  A timer is also useful when bargaining with kids/spouses around creative time as in ” please leave me alone until the timer rings”.
Make time to create.  Enjoy the process. Take care of yourself.

Yard Sales for the Distracted: Ten Tips for Shopping Yard Sales

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“nose tonge (sic) & glasses in rear”

Now we know why he looks like that…

Yard sales are my favorite place to pick up books, kids clothes, and a good laugh. Yard sales are also very dangerous places for the distracted. I can wander for hours at a really big yard sale. I find myself reminiscing about things and people. A book, an album cover, or an eight-track tape can take me way down the rabbit hole.

I have developed some strategies that enable me to shop efficiently, and stick to my list. Yes, I keep I list of books, etc. that I want. Having a list of items I am shopping for also lets me enjoy my side trips down memory lane.  I don’t have to worry that I will forget why I wanted to come to the yard sale.

Here are my tips for staying on task, and not coming home with a bunch of stuff you will just have to toss or resell later.

  1. Take only the cash you want to spend. This is the number one way to only spend what you planned to spend.
  2.  Make a list, with sizes, if you are shopping for kids clothes. Use the Evernote on your phone and you will always have your list with you.
  3.  Stay hydrated and eat. Many a bad decision has been made when thirsty, hungry, and tired.
  4.  Allow yourself to reminisce and remember, and then move on!
  5.  Go with a friend, a good friend who will remind you to stop and think, one that is not afraid nudge you when it is time to move on.
  6.  If you are looking for bookshelves, or other furniture, etc. bring the measurements of the space you have available. It is not a deal if it does not fit!
  7.  If you are trying to match colors, bring pictures with you. The Evernote app lets you store pictures and is great for this.
  8. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, take a break. Remember that there will always be another sale.
  9. Try to avoid bringing young children with you, it is hard enough to stay on track when you only have to worry about yourself. Older kids may be able to help, unless they are just like you…
  10.  Don’t feel guilty if you make a bad purchase decision. Better to make a $1.00 bad decision than a $100.00 bad decision.

Embracing the Work of You: Ten Tips for a More Organized Life

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Bucky 2009

Staying on top of your “to do” list. Being on time. Having clean clothes. Being able to find what you need when you need it. Staying on a task until it its complete. ADD/ADHD makes each of these tasks seem impossible at times. I often feel like Sisyphus, rolling that dang bolder up the hill just to watch it roll away again.

The truth is, no one ever has it all together. Everyone struggles to keep up with their lives. For those of us with distraction issues it feels like we carry extra weight on our journey.

I have a great brain for remembering every little bit of information that comes my way, but I still have to put the car keys away in the same place every time, or I can not remember where I put them.  I label the shelves in the refrigerator so I can remember to put food back where it goes, and my toothbrush has colored tape on it because I can’t remember which color toothbrush is mine. Silly? Maybe, but it keeps my from brushing my teeth with other peoples toothbrushes!

 When I get frustrated with myself have to remember that most people do not contend with a brain that will drop everything to watch, and perhaps follow a stray ant that happens along. Most people can filter out the unimportant from the important. Most people would comprehend that starting that wallpaper stripping project at midnight,  just because you notice that part of it is already starting to peel anyway, might not be a good course of action.

After years of being angry and frustrated with myself, I finally decided to make friends with my brain, and to find ways to work with what I have.  If you are struggling with organization, and keeping up with events in your life try these organization tips.

  1. Automate everything possible.  Sign up for E-Bills, schedule up automatic bill payments, schedule routine deliveries of household items (toilet paper, etc.),  subscribe to mail order/ automatic prescriptions refills.  Take advantage of services available. 
  2. Use labels on the outside, and on the inside containers, drawers, and cupboards to help you remember what goes where and where things are.  For young kids pictures work well. The inside label system  works well for chests of drawers and helps to keep clothing organized.
  3. Use a checklist for groceries. There are many free downloads on line. Find one and use it, or create your own. Train everyone to check things off as you use them.
  4. Create a landing zone and have a routine for entering the house. This works for kids and adults. Create a routine, such as: hang keys up, shoes off, coats hung, bags/ backpacks/ purses/ etc hung up, hands washed. Cubbies, hooks, key racks and shoe racks work well to keep things off the floor and where you need them when you leave. 
  5. Create a household task schedule. It can be a simple as knowing that every Wednesday and Sunday you are doing laundry, and cleaning the bathroom every Saturday.
  6. Clean the kitchen after each time you cook. This will 1) save you money as you will not be as tempted to go out to eat, or order a pizza, and 2) provide a sense of accomplishment because at least the kitchen is clean!
  7. Lay out out your clothes for the next day, have your kids do the same. This will save time in the morning, and prevent last minute scurrying around trying to find clothes that fit, and that are clean. 
  8. Have a place to open mail and pay bills. Do not open mail anyplace else. Train everyone to place mail in the same place.  This system will prevent lost misplaced bills, etc. 
  9. Have a main calendar for the family. Place it where everyone can see it. Use different colors for each person’s schedule.  REVIEW the calendar nightly!  If you don’t look at it you might as well not have one.
  10. Maintain a sense of humor. Everyone misses appointments, forgets things, has to find the cleanest dirty shirt to wear, or scrambles at the last minute to get things together.  Give yourself a break and go back to your system.
These are some of the things that I do to keep my life going on a somewhat even keel. I hope they help and if you have suggestions, send them along! 

All the things I did when I was supposed to be writing my blog post

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Maui 2009

I started out strong, tucked into my in my favorite coffee shop words flowing, but then two loud talkers came in and started talking about their lives. So I packed up and went to my office to write, forgetting that the reason I was in the coffee shop is because my office is a complete wreck with post-conference materials, general debris, and change of season clothes bins.
So I:
1. Started cleaning up my office, stepped on my favorite hot pink clipboard, broke it. Did not finish office cleaning.
2. Looked online for professional office cleaning services that could help me out next time so I don’t end up breaking more stuff.
3. Looked through all my office supplies for a suitable replacement. Yes, I have an office supply addiction, don’t you?
4. Stopped off at the library on my way to get new clipboard, picked up books on hold, signed kids up for summer storytime, chatted with the librarian.
5. Went to office supply store to get clipboard, remembered I needed toner, found toner, spent time wandering around looking for a new clipboard, ogling office supplies, and fondling pens. Loitered talking with my favorite store clerk. Yes, she knows my name, and that I sometimes refer to her as my dealer. I told you, I have an addiction.
6. Remember that we are out of bread. Go by grocery store to get bread, run into friend, talk about Summer plans, pick up potato chips, get in line to buy chips, have to leave line to get bread that I went in for.
7. Get to school early for pick up, and write this in the while waiting in the car. Make notes and deepen outline for the post I did not write.

So it goes. I realized that my difficultly writing this week’s post is that I have not done enough thinking about the topic I wanted to write about. I often find myself procrastinating/ self-interrupting when I have not spent enough time noodling/researching my topic.
The take away is this: when a piece you are working on doesn’t work, it is okay put it aside and give yourself time to think about what your want to write. This is not the same as abandoning a project, although sometimes that is the wisest thing to do.

Figuring out when to quit, when to let something rest, and when to press on is part of understanding yourself. For those of us with attention issues, this is particularly difficult as we often have exciting ideas about other projects that would be so much more fun/exciting/better than what we are doing at the moment.

When the urge hits to abandon a project I ask myself these five questions.

  1. Will it make a difference in my life if I quit?
  2. Do I need information/ resources/ help to complete this project?
  3. Is there a way to change the project so that I will want to do it?
  4. Will quitting cause a problem for important people in my life?
  5. What would make me want to finish the project?
The answers to these questions help me determine if my procrastination is really just thinking in disguise. When the urge to quit hits, try asking yourself these questions and give yourself permission to creatively procrastinate.

ADHD and Conferences- My Top Ten Survival Tips

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Stocking Stuffers for certain friends. You know who you are.

I spent last weekend attending Chicago North- RWA’s Spring Fling 2014.  If you are a fiction writer and ever consider going to a conference, I highly recommend that you mark your calendar for the 2016 conference. The conference was well organized, information packed, and fun.  I saw old friends, made new friends, and won a basket raffle.

Beth Kery Books and Bath Basket. Beth Kery and her books rock!

 I came home energized, and in possession of new information and ideas that I will be able to incorporate into my writing and my career.  This conference is outstanding for the way it strikes a balance between business of writing sessions, and craft of writing sessions.  As a writer it is so wonderful to be with people who understand the drive and desire to write. They understand your need to write stories about your imaginary friends.  I had the opportunity to meet and interact with successful multi-published authors who could not have been more open, friendly, helpful, and inspiring.

Attending conferences as an individual with ADHD can be overwhelming, like locked in a Christmas Shop kind of overwhelming.  Several factors contribute to this:

1) Adrenalin. A new place with new people, unfamiliar surroundings, and many new things to look
at / do / interact with.

2) Information overload. Attending sessions packed full of information can make your head feel like it is about to explode ala Scanners. ( If you have never seen Scanners, I only recommend it for the exploding heads.)

3) People overload. It can be overwhelming to meet new people.  Trying to pay attention/ sort out/ keep track of new faces and names can make your already over-full brain, shut down and refuse to process any more new information. This is why you meet someone, and when you run into them an hour later at a different session you can not remember their name. This is the time to take advantage of the name tags everyone wears!

As a professional I have attended many conferences. Many times I would come home exhausted and frustrated rather than full and energized. My frustration would stem from knowing I had the opportunity to learn valuable information, and the potential to meet really great people, but having been overwhelmed, my brain would shut down. I would come home with a bunch of scribbled notes, and the feeling I had missed something.  Over the years, I have developed a set of strategies that help me enjoy and get the most out of a conference.

Top Ten Tips for Thriving in a Conference Environment.

1) Don’t forget to eat. It is so easy to get caught up  in everything that you forget to eat. Your brain and your body need food.  Make good food choices. It is fine to have some fun eating away from home but do not go crazy eating nothing but sweet sugary treats and drinking your caffeinated beverage of choice. No matter how fun it is. This goes for visits to the bar too.

Pace yourself!

2) Hydrate! Your brain is made up of water, a minor level of dehydration impairs brain function, sugary drinks, sweets, and alcohol all work to dehydrate your brain.

3) Sit up front in panels and presentations. Not having a lot of people around you is less distracting. Take notes, or doodle if the information is preprinted.  Giving your hands something to do will help you retain the information presented.

4) If you take electronic notes I recommend using the Evernote app.  I discuss using the Evernote app in this post (My Brain is Full Post ).   Evernote provides me with something I have never had before, legible, organized notes. It is so easy to let conference notes in a half filled notebook languish in some bottom drawer.  Evernote is an easy way to ensure that your notes are organized, and useful.

5) Plan your day with alternatives.  If you get to a session that is too full, have a back up session or activity planned. I have issues with small spaces and too many people,  so I always have a back up plan.

6) Plan for breaks to walk outside and get some fresh air.  It doesn’t have to be long, but it helps to clear your head and wake up your brain. Being in nature also gives your adrenals a rest.

7) Expect to not sleep.  The combination of a new place, seeing people you only get to see at conferences, and adrenalin surges from the Christmas shop effect will hamper your sleep. Do the best you can. Plan a power nap if you know you are going to be at a late session.

8) Try to take a mental break before bed.  No screens (computer, phone, TV) for at least one hour before bed.

9) Make it a goal to stretch yourself. Meet new people. Try to make at least one new acquaintance.

10) Have fun!  
My wonderful in-laws came to help with the kids while I was gone.

                   
These are just gratuitous pictures of my adorable kids.

Irregular schedules and Ten Time Management Tips

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OH Yeah I OWN it! (Much to my wife’s dismay.)

Time. The most difficult thing in the world to get a handle on if you have an irregular schedule. Add in distraction issues, and you have a wonderful recipe for always being “a day late and a dollar short” as my mom often says.

 I have had an irregular schedule for most of my adult life. I have worked all three shifts at one time or another, worked 8 hour shifts, 10 hour shifts, 12 hour shifts, and everything in-between. I have gone to work on days when I was not scheduled, and not showed up when I was scheduled.  I have missed events, been early for events, and scrambled to make deadlines.

As difficult as it is to manage time for yourself, when you add one, more little people, the challenges of getting everyone where they are supposed to be with: appropriate clothes, homework, lunches, wallet, purse, backpack, book bags, show and tell items, etc.  multiply like rabbits in spring.

In my quest to find a system of time management, I wasted a lot of time trying to follow different popular organizational systems (Getting Things Done, 7 Habits, etc.) before I realized that most well promoted organizational systems are written by men who assumed that: 1) everyone works Monday -Friday, 9-5;  and 2) that there is a wife and/or staff somewhere taking care of the house, food shopping, cooking, bills, and the kids.
No time management system developed by a man has any reference about how to manage and integrate childcare, kids activity schedules, house maintenance, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, caring for older family members, or suggestions about what to do if your kid gets sick, you need to go get them from school and you have 3 meetings scheduled. Knowing a fair number of men that are active participants in the care and maintenance of homes and children, these systems would not work for them either.

 The following tips are gleaned from my personal experiences, and various time management resources. My favorites are the classic by Julia Morgenstern’s Time Management from the Inside Out (buy the book here)  and  ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Judith Kolbery and Kathleen Nadeau (buy the book here).   Both books embrace the fact that people (read most often women) work AND have other responsibilities.

These are my top ten tips to save time. Some of them might save you money too.

  1. I lay out my clothes, and get the kids’ to pick out their clothes for the next day the night before. This saves fuss and bother in the morning about what to wear. In my house we can settle who’s turn it is to wear the purple owl socks the night before and avoid tears before school.
  2. Pack all lunches, book bags, your bag, etc. the night before. If you have leftovers, pack them into lunch size containers when you clean up from dinner. This saves time and money, not buying lunch and using up leftovers. 
  3. Have a family calendar posted where everyone can see it. For parents of teens, if you  work shifts, you may want to withhold your work schedule. Keeps the kids on their toes!
  4. Make a meal plan, use it! NO,  really it does help, the last thing I want to think about at dinner time is what to make.  Make sure you schedule really easy meals on nights that are busy, or you get home late. 
  5. Use the alarms and reminders on your phone. This has saved me from being late picking the kids up more than once. I can also really focus on what I am doing instead of looking at the clock every five minutes.
  6. Keep a running grocery list. Use it. Train your kids and spouse to use it. This saves you time by not having to run to the grocery store every five minutes because you are out of something.
  7. Limit your Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Google Plus time.  Hide the icons on your phone, heck, hide your phone if you need to! We all know how much time can be frittered away on social media. Pick your time, set a timer, and make yourself put your phone down.
  8. Stop hitting the snooze button. Really. Get up, and get going. You will not get the time back, and that extra snooze time is not worth the stress. 
  9. Let go of perfection. Good enough is often good enough. Stop wasting time trying to copy those Perfect Pinterest pictures and get on with your life.
  10. Use a planner. Plan creative time to pursue your projects. Plan time to be with your spouse/partner. Plan Family time. Remember the housework will always be there. Enjoy the people in your life.
Do these tips work all the time? Am I perfectly organized, never late and always prepared? No. Recently, as I was driving the kids to school, I looked in the rear view mirror and I realized that no had combed their hair, including me! I do the best I can. And carry a comb.

Life is a journey of constant corrections to stay on course. Sail On.

I would like to say that every morning before school is like this, but that would be a lie.