Writing While Distracted

Chasing Fireflies

Posted on October 31, 2020 by Brenda

For the first time in 5 years, I am not participating in National Novel Writing Month. I’m a bit sad about not participating in the silly/chaotic/exhilarating rush to write 50,000 words in a month. Since 2017 I have, on average, written two books a year, with one of those books being my NaNoWriMo project.
In the past two years, I have added a novella to that count, and that doesn’t take into account blog posts, short stories, and all the other words I usually manage to come up with over the year. Staying productive while the world burned was an excellent way to deal with my rising anger and anxiety. As a creative, I strive to provide respite in my books. My goal is to offer readers a safe place to enjoy a world where you know no matter what happens in the story; my characters will get to have their happy endings.
But this year, I have struggled to write. I am currently two-thirds of the way through completing the third book in my new series, and I’ve lost the thread of my story. It’s not the first time this has happened.
I’m not a strict outliner, preferring to create a scaffold of scenes for my characters and then start writing, trusting my process, and chasing story ideas and words like a child running after fireflies.

If you’ve never caught fireflies or lightning bugs as some call them, it’s tricky. They only start their display at dusk, and it only lasts for a short time. You need to wait until they flash their soft yellow-green glow, run to that spot, and then gently, ever so gently cup them in your hands.

If you’re patient, they will light up again while you hold them, a delightful bit of magic. That is the closest thing I can relate to how I create stories. And this year, I’ve had a tough time following the fireflies of ideas that generally fill my head.

This year, there was no in-person time with my extended family, no time with sister friends, and no time to fill the well at my favorite conferences and writer events. Because no matter how wonderful it is to see folks over Zoom, it is not the same as warm hugs and laughter and staying up way past bedtime to tell silly stories and laugh until our stomachs hurt.

I have no doubts I will finish this book. I always do. And it’s not the first time I have had to stop and reassess a story direction. I have the tools to figure out where the story needs to go. But this year, I’m going to give myself a little bit of extra time to chase the fireflies and enjoy the magic along the way.

Brenda Murphy writes short fiction and novels. Her novel Double Six won the 2020 GCLS Goldie for Erotica. She loves tattoos and sideshows and yes, those are her monkeys. When she is not loitering on her front porch and writing, she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot. She blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted. Sign Up for her email list and receive a free erotic short story at www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Owning it and help from a friend

Posted on September 3, 2020 by Brenda

It’s been a wild few months since I won the 2020 Goldie for my erotic novel, Double Six. The award still doesn’t have a permanent home in my house. It is in its lovely box on my shelf because I moved my office at the start of the pandemic. I have a desk now in the corner of my living room and am back to writing where ever I can find space to sit with my laptop.

This photo makes me nostalgic for the time when I could drop the kids off at school and head to my favorite tea shop, have an oaty biscuit and a pot of tea and lose myself in my imaginary world. Both the tea shop and my ability to physically remove myself from my home to write are gone. But the ability to lose myself in my imaginary world remains.

But it feels a little different now. The Goldie award lurks in the of my periphery of thoughts. I worry if my next book will be as well received. If I think about it too much, I can find myself paralyzed. I’m super fortunate to have a very good friend who, when I mentioned this imposter feeling and struggle I was having offered this advice. First, she reminded me of things I tend to forget, for instance, this is not my first book, that folks wanted to read my stories. And she said the words I needed to hear:

“Get on with it. Write your damn book.”

It is the perfect reminder of what makes the difference between committing yourself to write a book. I’ve written them on a card and stuck them where I can see them whenever I find myself distracted or worried or being precious about my writing. If you are creative and stuck or if your struggling with imposter syndrome, I’m offering you the same tough love.

“Get on with it. Write your damn book.”

Thank you, VT, and I think we need to make this a t-shirt and maybe a mug 🙂

Books available at

Full Circle

Posted on July 24, 2020 by Brenda

It has been a wild four months since I last posted. So much as happened in the world and in my life. As the pandemic spun out around the world, I helped my kids get through the last few months of school at home, planted five new raspberry bushes, and ten fruit trees. In April, I lost my dearest Aunt to a fall, and then I was informed I was a finalist for a GCLS Goldie, and then the most amazing thing, I won.

And through it all, I completed a novella for a project with friends. It took me as long to write thirty thousand words as it usually takes me to write sixty thousand. A big part of struggling to write was dealing with grief.

Grief over my aunt, grief for my kids not being able to be with their grandparents, and friends, grief for friends who died, friends who lost parents, siblings and partners, and grief over losing the ability to work undisturbed.

I started writing when my twins were little. I was home with them and wrote in snippets and margins of time I snatched for myself. And then they went to preschool, and hallelujah, I had two hours and forty-five minutes to myself.

I used that time to write my first two books, and then they went to kindergarten and my day stretched to 5 hours, and then the miracle of miracles they went to elementary school. I had full days to work. It was marvelous. I could stretch out, relax, and work as I wanted to, I even had a dedicated office. And then COVID-19. And now, my kids are home 24/7 and my wife is using my office for innumerable meetings. I am back to working in the living room, or on our porch, or where ever and whenever I can snatch moments.

I fought against the change in my circumstances at first, raged, fretted, and whined quietly to myself. But in the end, I just needed to remind myself that I wrote and submitted two manuscripts a year for three years writing two hours and forty-five minutes a day. I can do it again. Hell, my Goldie winning novel, Double Six was written during NANOWRIMO, and if I can draft a 60k novel in thirty days I can do anything.

What is the point of all of this?

Don’t let circumstances steal your art. Find a way to keep creating. I’ll be over here, sneaking in a writing sprint in the early morning before my kids get up, or doing edits after everyone has gone to bed, or knocking out a blog post when I can.

I won’t quit, I won’t whine, and I won’t dwell on what was. I will embrace new challenges and keep working, and keep writing because I’ve come too far along my writing journey to quit now. I won’t be precious about how and where I create, I will just get on with it.

For you creatives out there, keep creating, the world needs your words and art, now more than ever.

Until next time, stay safe and well.

Available August 17th from Ninestar Press

Brenda Murphy writes short fiction and novels. Her novel, Double Six, won the 2020 GCLS Goldie for Erotica. She loves tattoos and sideshows and yes, those are her monkeys. When she is not loitering at her local tea shop and writing, she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot. She blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes random thoughts and photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted.

You can find her on Facebook by clicking here. Sign Up for her email list and receive a free erotic short story HERE Check out more information about her upcoming releases and appearances at www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Creating in Chaos

Posted on March 30, 2020 by Brenda

Hi folks,

Its been a while since I’ve posted here. I have been like many I suspect, overwhelmed. And unsure I had anything to add to the discussion of how to adjust to our lives with the specter of Covid-19 looming over us. My family has been sheltering in place for about three weeks now. It’s been an adjustment. After suffering the loss of my brother in law last year, I finally felt we had all adjusted to the new normal. And then we found ourselves in the middle of a global pandemic.

In the past week we, (my wife, my kids and I) have snuggled on our couch, struggled with classroom technology and homeschooling, played outside, started garden, planted seeds, raged, cried, lay in our beds and stared at the ceiling, laughed at ridiculous movies, called family and friends, played games, helped each other with chores and housework, and eaten our share of our favorite snacks and desserts. We are surviving.

I sent a new manuscript off to my editor right before all of the chaos started and I’m grateful I had competed it because I have been unable to get myself to sit down to write until today.

I have a new novella project that I need to start working on. I know I’m not going to hit my usual word counts. I not even going to try. I’m permitting myself to go slowly, to adjust my writing pace to meet my deadline on time but not early. I’m also permitting myself to take days off when I need them for emotional and mental health. My imaginary friends have always been my go-to in any crisis, and I believe that once I get back to writing, I will feel better. How are you all doing? Are you able to create right now? Do you have any tips to share?

Until next time, stay safe, stay well.

Brenda Murphy writes short fiction and novels. She loves tattoos and sideshows, and yes, those are her monkeys. When she is not loitering at her local tea shop and writing, she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot. She reviews books, blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted.

Books available at

Rainbow Snippet November 16-17

Posted on November 16, 2019 by Brenda

Monday is release day for Double Six, the fifth book in the Rowan House series. It seems fitting that it is releasing during NaNoWriMo as I drafted it during last year’s NaNoWriMo. I had a lot of fun writing Elaine’s story, her character is impetuous and full of surprises. This year for my NaNoWriMo project I am working on the second book in a brand new series. Today’s snip is from Double Six.

ELAINE TAPPED ON Petra’s door.
“Just a minute,” Petra called.
Elaine wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. Petra yanked the door open. “Yes?”

Elaine stared at the dark smudges under Petra’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

Petra swiped at her face. “I was testing some new mascara. Not so waterproof.”

Elaine raised an eyebrow. “Do you have plans for this evening?”

Petra gestured to her room. “Other than finishing my packing and washing my face? No.”

“Would you be interested in participating in a going away scene?”

Petra pursed her lips and rested a hand on her hip. “Where?”

Elaine tilted her head. “The large playroom.”

Petra’s mouth curved into a blade-sharp smile. “Is there a theme?”

Elaine rested her hands on the doorway to stop herself from grabbing Petra and kissing the cheeky expression off her face. “Innocence lost.”
Petra’s smirk was replaced by a feral smile. “Time?”

“Eight.”

“I’ll be there.”

Rainbow Snippets( https://www.facebook.com/groups/RainbowSnippets/)is a group for LGBTQ+ authors, readers, and bloggers to gather once a week to share six sentences from a work of fiction–a WIP or a finished work or even a 6-sentence book recommendation (no spoilers please!).

In this group, you’ll find anything from romance and historical fiction to mystery and YA. The common thread is that every story’s main character identifies as LGBTQ+. The snippets could range from zero flames to full-on sexytimes, anything goes content-wise. The only rule is snippets will be 6 sentences long–one for each color in the Pride flag.

Brenda Murphy writes erotic romance. Her novel, Knotted Legacy, made the 2018 The Lesbian Review’s Top 100 Vacation Reads list. She loves sideshows and tattoos and yes, those are her monkeys. When she is not loitering at her local library she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot. She reviews books, blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted. You can find her on Facebook by clicking here. Sign Up for her email list here www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Knotted Legacy

Complex Dimensions

Double Six

Finish it.

Posted on November 13, 2019 by Brenda

Whatever you’re writing now, finish it. Even if it takes you two years, finish it. Why? Because every time you abandon a manuscript, it becomes that much harder when you get to the soggy/awful/sticky/why-the-hell-did-I-even-start-this point in your manuscript. This is a lesson I learned from my track and field coach in high school. I had signed up to do field events. I loved field events. I’m built for field events, and they were easy for me. But our team was short an 800-meter runner (that’s a half-miler for you metrically impaired folks), and that was how I found myself having to practice with the real runners, the people who do 400-meter sprints and enjoy running and smile when they run. And I hated it. I was sucking wind one sunny spring day as I rounded the curve having run the first 600 meters, and I stopped running 200 meters from the finish line and stepped off the track. I leaned over a few minutes to catch my breath. My coach’s shadow darkened the ground at my feet. I raised my head and met her gaze.
“Are you hurt?” She said quietly.
“No.”
“If you’re not hurt you need to finish, I don’t care if you crawl over the line, but every time you give up, you will struggle at that mark in the race. Don’t quit. It’s the worst thing for your mind.” She walked away and blew her whistle and had us all lineup and we ran again. And this time, when I hit the mark I had quit at she was standing right there. No way I was going to quit with her right there. So I pushed myself and finished. And a little fist pump from my coach, her acknowledgment of my effort. And that is how it went for the next week, every day at practice she would be standing at the sticking point to remind me to keep going. To not quit. To push through.

My sixteen-year-old self held on to those words and the look on her face every time I ran through the sticking point and finished. Those words got me through the rest of high school, nursing school, Army basic training, and every other hard thing I’ve ever done since then. Including writing my first book.

Those of you doing NaNoWriMo right now may want to quit. Perhaps you’ve fallen behind in your word or questioned why it’s essential to finish. NaNoWriMo is not about winning, it’s about finishing. No matter what your word count on November 30, complete your NaNoWriMo project. Don’t quit. Finish your draft. Even if it’s terrible and it takes you until next November to complete it, finish it. Don’t quit. I’m cheering for you.

PS Coach K, if you’re out there, thank you for all your life lessons, but most importantly, this one.

Brenda Murphy writes short fiction and novels. She loves tattoos and sideshows and yes, those are her monkeys. When she is not loitering at her local tea shop and writing, she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot. She reviews books, blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted.

Books available at

Rainbow Snippet November 9-10

Posted on November 9, 2019 by Brenda

The fifth and most likely last book in the Rowan House series, Double Six releases on November 18th. I say most likely because I always call Rowan House my accidental series. I didn’t plan for it to be more than one novel but the women of Rowan House all had stories to tell. The last book is Elaine (Cook) happy ever after and today’s snip is from Double Six.

Petra bit into a lavender lemon shortbread from her plate. She closed her eyes and chewed, a blissful expression on her face.

Elaine laughed. “Robin has many talents. That is her signature shortbread.”

“That is sinful.” Petra took a sip of her tea.

“How do you know Lucia?” Elaine bit into her favorite chocolate biscuit.

Petra’s eyes shuttered. “Pass.”
“Why?”
“Why do you want to know?” Petra’s expression was

neutral, but her eyes were hard.
“Lucia is part of my family now. You’re the first

person she has ever mentioned in her life other than Madame. I’m curious. I don’t care if you were involved. And neither will Martha if you’re concerned.”

Petra snorted. “Involved. That’s one way to put it.” She took another sip of her tea. “I met Lucia in Japan. Madame sent me to her.”

“As her what? Sub? Chaperone? Minder?”

“She was studying shibari and was required to bring someone with her to be her canvas.”

“You went willingly? Or was it Madame’s will?” Elaine twisted her napkin in her hands.

“I wanted to go. There was no place for me at the Onyx.” Petra’s tone revealed nothing, her face a mask.

Elaine placed her plate on the table. “I don’t understand what kind of hold Madame had. How she was able to draw strong women such as yourself, Lucia, and my sister to her side, have them beg to be hers.”

“Don’t you?” Petra tilted her head to the side. “How many women have asked or begged to be yours?”

Elaine shifted in her seat. “That’s different.” “How so? Because they were subs?”
Elaine picked up the teapot. “More tea?” “No, thank you.”

Elaine could sense Petra’s eyes on her. “Not going to answer?”

“I don’t know what to say.” Elaine sat back in her chair.

“Probably enough sharing for today.”

“Goddess, I hate that word. I don’t like sharing. I don’t want to know. I think we should all keep our secrets and fucked-up feelings inside where they belong.”

“So they can fester? Fuel your anger and pain?” Petra snorted. “And here I thought you were a sadist.”

“I am.” Elaine studied the pattern on the carpet. “And what good does it do to share? It’s not like anyone really cares.”

“Or stays around? That’s the rest of it, isn’t it? You don’t expect anyone to stay if you’re honest.” Petra’s gaze burned. “If you keep everyone at arm’s length, hold back, always stay in control, you don’t have to worry, do you? And yet you were surprised when Roxy left.”

Elaine stood abruptly. “You don’t know me. Three scenes, a few chats, and you think you know me. The audacity.”

“I didn’t say I did. I said I wanted to.” Petra placed her plate on the cart before she pressed her napkin to her mouth.

You can find her on Facebook by clicking here. Sign Up for her email list and receive a free erotic short story HERE

Check out more information about her upcoming releases and appearances at www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Rainbow Snippet September 28-29

Posted on September 28, 2019 by Brenda

Hello all,

Today’s snip is from Complex Dimensions, the fourth book in the Rowan House series. It had garnered some lovely reviews and folks are grooving on Veronica and Millie’s story. In the next month or so I’m going to offer my blog posts as podcasts so you can listen to my posts if that is your preference. Have a great weekend and hello October, I’m ready for you!

From Complex Dimensions:

Millie raised an eyebrow. “What kind of books do you read?”

“Everything as long as it has a happy ending.” Veronica lowered her chin to her chest, shy under Millie’s direct gaze.

“Everyone deserves a happy ending.” Millie’s voice was so soft Veronica wasn’t sure she had spoken. “The house has a large library, and a bunch of trade paperback books if you run out of things to read.” Millie tapped the e-reader against her palm. “One of the submissives from the house will clean your room on Tuesdays and change your sheets. Place your clothes in the purple laundry bag hanging in the armoire and they’ll wash them and get them back to you the next day. Staff meals are at half six, noon, and six. If you want something earlier, or anything else related to food in between, you need to speak with the kitchen staff and arrange it. The folder on the desk has a copy of your contract, a map of the house and grounds, and handbook of house rules. Staff meetings are the first Monday of the month. You’ve missed this month’s meeting but if you have anything you want to discuss before next month’s meeting make an appointment with Mistress Martha.”

“Um, okay. Wow.” Veronica swept her gaze around the room. Despite her nap in the car all she wanted was a hot shower and her bed. She failed to stifle her yawn.

Millie squeezed her shoulder. “You look done in. I’ll knock you up at half five for staff meal.”

Veronica raised her eyebrows. “What?”

Millie laughed and Veronica loved the way her whole body laughed, the mellow round sound filling the small room. “I guess I shouldn’t assume you’d understand. Let me translate. I’ll wake you in time for dinner.” She left and pulled the door closed with a soft click.

In this group, you’ll find anything from romance and historical fiction to mystery and YA. The common thread is that every story’s main character identifies as LGBTQ+. The snippets could range from zero flames to full-on sexy times, anything goes content-wise. The only rule is snippets will be 6 sentences long–one for each color in the Pride flag.

Brenda Murphy writes short fiction and novels. She loves tattoos and sideshows and yes, those are her monkeys. When she is not loitering at her local library and writing, she wrangles two kids, one dog, and an unrepentant parrot. She reviews books, blogs about life as a writer with ADHD and publishes photographs on her blog Writing While Distracted. You can find her on Facebook by clicking here. For news about upcoming releases, appearances, sneak peeks and giveaways sign Up for her email list at www.brendalmurphy.com

Books available at

Knotted Legacy